Writing My Truth


Previously posted on Beguine Again.

I have spent the past three weeks working on something I never expected to follow through on. I am rewriting the times in my life that have had the biggest impact on who I am and why I am that person.

Obviously I can`t really rewrite things that have happened, but I can rewrite what I learned from them. I can look at the most hurtful things objectively and see that so much of what caused me pain wasn`t the actual event. It was about what I told myself and what others told me about the circumstances.

It`s cognitive therapy at its most basic, and yet I know that I always believed that the lies were set in stone. I thought I couldn`t change anything about them. Silly when I think of it, but the past has held me back way too long. I have to go through each one of these painful situations and see the lies for what they are.

I never thought I`d have the courage to face all these things again. I`ve spent years trying to bury them. I dealt with most of these situations in therapy, but it`s not the same thing as going back to them and digging up bones alone.

Then I remember. I haven`t been doing it alone. God nudged me to go back there. God is there with me in the past, even when I couldn`t see or feel the spirit and presence. God is with me here in the present as I relive some of these situations. God is with me in the future. Even though my view of God has changed, God hasn`t changed and never will.

During the times I looked for someone that would stay with me throughout the hard times and the good ones. I already had that Someone. It was God.

I hope it`s true for you, no matter what your definition of God or the Universe is.


About lana1967

I'm a Southern girl at heart who wants to build a community of people who believe they can change the world with words like "love" and "freedom" when they become more than words, but actions in our work and our daily lives.
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