I’m living in a shell of fear and isolation. I want you to know me and see the heart in me. All the lies others have told me about myself and all the lies I’ve told myself about me have created a shell that I live in. No one can see it, but I know it’s there. I think people can feel it. I think that’s why I don’t have any long-lasting relationships, and my words feel empty, sometimes even to me.
I wonder what would happen if the shell would crack. Even just a small crack to let the air in would be nice. I try–I’ve been trying to do it with this blog. Some days it feels possible and I can actually breathe when I’m sharing with you. Other days I feel claustrophobic because there’s not enough room in the shell for the real me to live.
I need to be free. Free of the lies. Free of the fear. Free to love and to reach out.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever wondered if you’d be trapped in that shell for the rest of your life? Or have you figured a way to get out of the shell?
If you have some wisdom, please feel free to share it. I’d love to hear it.