I see my life over there
The real one
The one where I live and love
Where I spend my days creating
Where I’m doing the work
Where I know who I am.
The shadows are cast over me
I spend my days
Dreaming of creating
Dreaming of living
Pretending that this is the real world.
When will I cast off the shadows?
When will I cast off the bullshit pretense?
When will I stand in the light?
Sometimes I feel like I’m living a life that doesn’t belong to me. After reading about Steven Pressfield’s ideas about amateur vs. professional and shadow careers, I realized that I am still just an amateur who’s running away from my calling. I’m playing at what I’m doing and it’s living a shadow life.
As Pressfield says, “The artist and the professional, on the other hand, have turned a corner in their minds. They have grown so bored with themselves and so sick of their petty bullshit that they can manipulate those elements the way a HazMat technician handles weapons-grade plutonium.”
What’s it going to take for me to get so bored with myself and my own “petty bullshit” that I run TOWARD my calling and and become the creative artist and writer and healer I know myself? I wish I knew.
I think maybe I do. Run into the arms of my Muse!